For my Son

This song always makes me think of my son and all the pain of growing up with out a father because of my mistakes. But also the changes in me with trying to become a better person for his sake. Just thought I would share. Just added the video for effect.




i'm not a perfect person.
there are many things i wish i didnt do
but i continue learning.
i never meant to do those things to you.
and so i have to say before i go,
that i just want you to know i've found a reason for me,
to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new,
and the reason is you

i'm sorry that i hurt you,
its something i must live with everyday
and all the pain i put you through,
i wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears,
thats why i need you to hear i'm not a perfect person,
i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go
that i just want you to know
i've found a reason for me,
to change who i used to be a reason to start over new,
and the reason is you
i've found a reason to show a side of me
you didnt know a reason for all that i do,
and the reason is you

2 BIG Things

The first big thing is last week my wonderful son Mason turned 3!!! We had a nice small party at home. We made cupcakes and just had a really nice time even though I opted not to have a party this year. Mason got a new bike and wonderful books and a playset from Grandpa. It was a day about him and not running around and making sure everyone is having a good time. Perfect.

The second big thing is that I hit one year of not smoking. I quit when I was pregnant and was REALLY STUPID to pick up a cigarette again. But my love for Mason won over my love of tobacco. I am happy to say that I haven't been wanting to smoke for a long time, except when I am really bored but in those cases I just try to stay really busy.

I am so grateful for the people in my life and the many things I have accomplished. And above all I love my son, my beautiful big boy.

San Diego Weekend

Mason and I drove down to San Diego this weekend to spend some time with my Aunt and Uncle and my cute cousin Colten. Here are some of the pics:

Kicking It American Idol Style

Story Time

We also went to the San Diego Zoo and got to see Gorillas and Hippos and Mason's favorite....The Elephants

And of course the petting zoo

There are other pictures that I would love to share but it would take me forever to upload. Mason and I had so much fun.....My Aunt and Uncle got a cheesecake (Yum!!) for him and we all sang happy birthday and they also got him a little dr.'s play set. (Dr. Mason....I like the sound of that. Ü) I am not throwing Mason a birthday party this year so San Diego was just perfect, Mason had such a special day and I loved being able to visit with my family and see my little cuz Colten (who again is such a cutie!!!)

Mason Turns 3 in 11 Days

Where has the time gone. It seems just yesterday he showed me his first smile and now he is this extraordinary young man who has his own personality, thoughts and feelings.

I can't believe that it was three years ago that I was VERY pregnant and ready to pop at any second. I was so afraid at what the future would be like. Now I can't imagine my life with out Mason.

Bookshelf

This is a bookshelf I built for Mason. It has a firehouse theme and also has all these little windows and a poll that goes between two of the shelves. The bottom red door slides horizontally and I keep a basket of some of his toys in there. He really likes because he can keep everything close to his bed.

I really enjoyed building it and and I think Mason enjoys having a nice place to store all of his books.

TCS Presentation

This young girl is doing a presentation about genetic disorders and asked my TCS group if we can share our experiences with the disorder. She said was going to use some of what I wrote for her report so I wanted to share what I sent:


Olivia-

I grew up always feeling different because I didn't look like my family. And I held on to a lot of resentment because of how I felt and the way I looked. When I was much older I had learned to accept my difference but never really letting go of the anger of my childhood. And honestly when I became pregnant I was so excited that I would have a "perfect" baby and not feel quite so different, so you can imagine my feelings when I had Mason. I felt that I had done something to harm him.

The day he was born was the first day I have ever heard about TCS. And when the geneticist told me I had the genetic traits as well, suddenly this wave of emotion came over me. All those years of pain and suffering came back and I finally understood and was able to let go of the past.

Today I am so grateful to my higher power for bringing Mason into my life just the way he is. I am thankful that I can explain TCS to him and he will not have to grow up the way I did, and that we can go through it together. If I could go back I wouldn't change one thing about my past, or my present and I am really looking forward to the future.

-Jess

Sappy

Could we be any cuter?